OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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