when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
