u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize