I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
