But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
