last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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