im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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