do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
