wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
