Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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