Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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