When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
