well I can't set my house on fire every night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
