whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
