Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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