Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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