just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
