i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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