Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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