y did u give ur computer a hand job?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
