im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
