You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
