his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
did i walk over a car last night?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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