I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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