hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
