i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
