wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
