so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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