I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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