operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
