i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
