well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
