somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
