im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize