I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
