Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
