yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
