At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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