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It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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