Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
