I like to think it a success when the cops are called
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
