what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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