I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
