Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
