It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize