woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We were destined to go to rehab together
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
