Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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