I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize