If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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