Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
