the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
