You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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