we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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