If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
