And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
