I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize