why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
