I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
