He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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