I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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